Don't look back in anger
by gram.waitforit.pola
Summary: Haymitch and Effie have a chance to make up, but since Haymitch choosed to leave her out of his plans before going to District 13, will they really make it? Rated M, but might change between the chapters.


**_x_**

**_Don't look back in anger_**

**_Chapter one_**

**_x_**

_In a minute they'll be gone. Dead._ Effie Trinket swallowed a sob that was raising within her chest._ Don't cry right now. You need to be strong for them. They need to believe that at least one of them has a chance._ But deep inside she knew their odds were low, almost nonexistent. With all that tributes she knew? Yes, Katniss might have a chance to survive it, she was a fighter, but sweet Peeta? No way. No way he could win that game with that sweet smile and his sad eyes. There was no mercy in the arena, she knew it. And if Peeta's life were about to end up, it meant one unique thing: Katniss, the girl on fire, was about to burn herself. Until she dies.

She looked from one to another, her eyes meeting just their nape. She had to touch them before they got into that stupid elevator, her last chance to say goodbye, her last chance to say she cared about them; still, all she could do was caress their hair, her unsteady hands finding strands of hair to hide the tremor.

And now they were gone. Had she said something? Good luck, maybe? She was sure she tried to say something, but had the words slipped out her lips? Made themselves audible? She should have hugged them, said something eloquente instead of whatever she had said. She should've said to Katniss to use her arrow with no mercy, to protect Peeta, to... to what? There'd be only one winner this year, and this time Katniss wouldn't be able to save both of them. Instead, she'd probably find those poisoned blueberries to eat, and this time they'd really eat it. Dammit!

She was staring at the elevator's doors closing, trying to figure out what was wrong with her because all of a sudden she caught herself making useless plans to them._ I'd do anything to save their skins_. And with this thought she knew what was going on. She couldn't handle what was about to happen. She had sent her... what? Children? No. She wasn't a mother. So... Friends? She wasn't sure. Partner? No, that was more like her and Haymitch, because they'd been working together. Truth is she had attached to them in a way she hadn't in a long time for anyone else, just to see them dying within a couple of minutes; hours, with a little luck.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. She wasn't stupid, maybe a little futile and selfish, but she knew why this edition of the Hunger Games was happening. Katniss had defied the goverment. She had given hope for everyone, even for Effie, and that's why she understood it all. She was a insurgent after all, if maybe she come up with something this year... What? No. Impossible. She'd be dead anyway, the president hated her.

_Effie_, she heard her name souding distant, but she blinked it away and tried to focus on her thoughts again. If Katniss made a alliance with...

'Effie!' Haymitch's voice sounded more vivid this time, maybe because he was almost yelling at her.

'Yes?' She responded a little angry. She was trying to find a solution, couldn't he see it? She turned on her heels to glare at him.

'You've been standing here for a little while by now. And you're crying.' He noticed.

'What? Am I? No I'm not!' She said defensively, bringing her hands to her face, wiping a tear away. Oh no, she _was_ crying!

'You should wipe up your face and remake your makeup, sweetheart. It's not really pleasant.'

'You should take classes of manners.' She said, furiously, tears still running down her face. Who he thought he was to talk to her like that?

'C'mon, Effie.' He tried to hold her elbow as she passed by him, but she squirmed away. Maybe he had been a little crass towards her.

'They're going to die!' She exclaimed as a matter of fact, hopelessly, throwing her hands in the air.

_No, I won't allow._ He thought, but didn't say it. He had better plans for them. 'Effie, calm down. Katniss has skills. One of them may come back for us.'

'One! One of them, Haymitch, not both.' She was starting to freak out, she could feel it.

'Look, I don't like it any better than you. But what can we do? Nothing but sending them whatever they need to stay alive, at least for now.'

'Breads. And water.' She whispered.

'And medicine. Only if they need it.' He added, because Effie's eyes widened open.

'What did Katniss whispered into your ear? Don't try to deny it, I saw you, Haymitch.'

Haymitch pondered his answer. If he told her that Katniss had decided to give her life in return of Peeta, Effie would lose her mind. Not that she loved Katniss more than Peeta - or vice-versa for that matter - is just that she would not apreciate that she had been put aside, not being really included on their little group.

A white lie wouldn't cause any great damage.

'She thanked me. Asked for help. And called me drunk. Not in that order.' He saw a little smile cut Effie's lips.

'Well, she was right.'

'She was.' He shook his head yes.

Effie dropped her eyes. 'You're right, too. One of them may make it.'

'It's going to be painful, Effie, you've got to know that.'

'It already is.' She said honestly.

'Right.' He studied her tearful blue eyes and found a little hope there, and also... something else. But what? It was not his business anyway. He was too concerned about Peeta, Katniss and now, shit!, Effie. If Peeta, by the way, wasn't so stubborn, if he hadn't that stupid craze of saving Katniss, Haymitch himself would easily get in that arena for Peeta, so Katniss and him could stay out of there together.

'You know', he said to no one in particular, 'It should've been me.'

'It shouldn't have been any of them, Haymitch.' Pure resentment in her voice.

He looked at her surprised, weighting her words. It shouldn't, true. But he didn't expected to hear it from her, he never heard Effie manifest any reaction against the Capitol.

'And honestly,' she continued', I wouldn't know what to do without you here and being there. I'd be on my own.'

'Oh, you'd know exactly what to do. You would miss me.' He said sarcastically, trying to light up the room.

'Possibly.' She confessed.

Shit. Haymitch had waited for her to make a face, not a confession. What was that about? Had Effie got attached to him? Had he missed something? He looked at the golden bracelet in her thin wrist. _We're a team_. Her words danced in his mind. Was Effie trying to say him that she was by his side when she gave them those stupid golden things? What if she was? Well, he wans't sure, and he couldn't give her a try by telling her all his plans and then screwing it up in case she disagreed with all that. What a issue it might cause.

He shook his head sadly and turned his back to her. 'You know, let's go watch this insane thing. The more we know how they are, the better we can help them.'

He walked over to the couch and sank into the cushions, Effie did the same, sitting right beside him. The last thing he thought before turning on the tv, was how Effie would react in the moment she knew he was gone.


End file.
